In my last letter/post (see here), I wrote (excuse my rudeness in quoting myself):
This morning, I have begun to pray a new blessing for Southwest Baptist University and the Missouri Baptist Convention: that they and their families receive from God -- the God of Justice and Mercy -- the same Mercies that they have shown to me and my family.Some have expressed concern and -- even disbelief -- that I could have purposely written such an "un-Christian" and apparently vindictive statement, which is so against my peace-loving Ana-Baptist heritage and tradition.
If that prayer be a curse and not a blessing, then it is a curse of their own devising.
I was uncomfortable with this statement, as well.
For the distress this may have caused, I am sincerely sorry, but I will let the statement stand as the Truth it is -- but only a partial truth.
As most know, since the second acute poisoning by organophosphate pesticides on the campus of Southwest Baptist University, I have had only limited use of my hands, due to the neurological damage from the neurotoxins.
To type on a keyboard, I use two fingers (one finger on each hand), rather than the ten-fingered method that I had used since high school.
Certainly, I am grateful to be able to type at all, but the difficulty with this method is that one has to stare at the keyboard while typing and it is easy to lose a word, a phrase, or a thought.
Such was the case when I wrote the letter in question. The original sentence as "written" in my thoughts was:
This morning, I have begun to pray a new blessing for Southwest Baptist University and the Missouri Baptist Convention: that THEY MAY UNDERSTAND that they and their families receive from God -- the God of Justice and Mercy -- the same Mercies that they have shown to me and my family.When I looked up to check my sentence, I realize my error and moved my mouse to begin the correction ... but then I realized that my prayer was already being answered, so I left it as written.
If I alluded to the fact that the harm visited upon me and my family resulting from the negligence and unethical conduct of these officials would be visited upon their families, that they would reap as they had sown, would it startle them into reality and suddenly open their eyes to the Truth?
It was worth a try.
In actuality, though, my prayer continues to be that Southwest Baptist University and the Missouri Baptist Convention officials BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND that by sowing and continuing to sow seeds of suffering into my life, they themselves will reap a harvest of destruction in their own lives.
For the Scripture is clear: Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:6-8).
It IS the will of God that we reap what we have sown: this is truth ... but only partial Truth.
Does any believer honestly contend that God is so tiny and wicked as to inflict suffering on innocent children or family members -- even if I had "prayed it" upon them (which I did not)?
No, without question, God is not willing that any should perish ... and His judgments are just.
Nonetheless, in seeking the lower road, Southwest Baptist University and Missouri Baptist Convention officials have left us all -- including their own families -- open to assault, open to the realities of this Law of Reaping and the Sown Harvest.
Unfortunately, the present Baptist tradition teaches an extraordinary, self-oriented worldview -- all and everything is for, about, and because of Baptists, particularly the individual and his family.
This philosophy is not based in reality. Simply put: Life does not exist -- and is not lived -- within a vacuum.
There is a Higher Truth at work here: all of us exist as members of a Spiritual Ecology, a system of interlocking and interweaving wonders.
Your actions have consequences in my life; my actions generate consequences for you. Our lives connect, meld, and intermingle with dozens and thousands of others here, throughout the world, and throughout time -- for good or evil.
It is plain to see, perhaps because I know so many more of the details, that this situation is more far-reaching than commonly known, understood, or advertised.
Whereas SBU and MBC officials would like to end this by "ending" me, I understand that this immature reaction will bring harm and disruption to many lives and families -- not merely to me or those close to me.
I hoped that over the last few days, as some reflected on these posted items, those in positions of authority would gained wisdom.
This situation must be Redeemed -- not merely glossed over and forgotten. This is why I have sought Restorative Justice.
We may beseech God to help us to cut down the cruel thorns and dig up the tangle of overgrown weeds, which have already been sown, fertilized, and nurtured by such leaders.
Are we not granted the right and obligation to tend our own gardens: to restore the garden to fruitfulness, transforming our lives into the abundant havens of hope that He intended for us to be as Manifestations of Himself -- the Rose of Sharon, the Healing Balm of Gilead, and the Bread of Life?
It is our duty to tend this garden! Isn't this our purpose?
Isn't this is why we, as people, a Christian people, are here: to reclaim and restore the fallen, to uphold the innocent, to strive for Wisdom and Justice, and to love the Lord our God with our whole hearts ... and our neighbors as ourselves?
None of us are yet perfected, but we must strive toward that perfection: we must grow. This is not accomplished by standing in a dank forest of thorns trees .. and eating the poisonous fruit.
We must hack down strangling stronghold of thorn thickets and open the Darkness to the Light.
For many years, I viewed these officials and clergy with a child's eyes, as if they were in some ways like parents -- beyond criticism or righteous judgment.
Now, they sometimes appear to be children themselves -- unwilling to climb up into the highchair and taste of the Meat, choosing instead to sit in dirty diapers on the filthy floor, while hurling grubby mashed potatoes and peas at their siblings.
Even among those who are willing to mature, their behavior is inconsistent: vacillating between vicious and intransigent bullying, as they snarl like frightened, rabid animals, and simpering and mystifying instability, as they swoon, like moon-eyed school girls, over their latest organizational savior and man-crush.
It's become difficult to take them seriously, or to see them as speaking for The Lord God.
Yet, God has spoken even through a donkey. And have I not been, at times, as stubborn and frightened as they?
Nonetheless, this is why I feel it is best to simplify and shorten this Restorative Justice Process.
While others options remain available, I have written four pastors (Billy Russell, Ray Leininger, Rodney Reeves, and Gary Ankrom) to request that they act as mediators in completing this Restorative Justice Process in a private forum by this Easter.
I am proceeding with other options, however, in the event that I cannot secure a tenable commitment from these pastors by Sunday, March 14.
Details will be posted on regular basis over the next several days.
